Tending the Garden: Growing Through Mental Health in a South Asian Home
Growing up as a South Asian woman, I literally didn't know about the concept of mental health until middle school.
I had no idea that mental illnesses like depression and anxiety even existed. I thought stress was something to just deal with, and emotions were something I should keep to myself.
My lack of awareness became piercingly clear during the pandemic in 2020. Isolated from friends and unable to distract myself with school, I found myself consumed by social media. The constant comparisons, societal expectations, and the pressure of not meeting beauty standards in South Asian culture weighed heavily on me. My parents didn't realize I was struggling until it became physically apparent, and even then, they had no idea how deep my pain ran.
I love my parents and am so grateful for them, but they grew up in India, where mental health issues were shrouded in silence. They were taught that struggling with emotions or needing extra support was a sign of weakness and shame. I couldn't blame them for not knowing how to support me; they had never been supported themselves.
I wasn't ready to face the truth about my mental state. I lived in the illusion that I was fine and everyone around me was overreacting. My parents had to drag me to get help. They had to overcome their own cultural beliefs and my resistance to ensure I got the support I needed. I was the first person in my family to ever go to therapy.
As I began to heal, there were times when everything felt vibrant — tulips blooming and sunflowers reaching for the sky. Yet I also faced periods when rain flooded my mind or droughts dried out my spirit. Healing isn't linear; it takes time, patience, and consistent care.
In South Asian culture, we rarely see each other prioritizing mental health. It's often seen as "weak" or "lazy." But how can we be strong if we don't strengthen our minds? Today, I'm proud to say my mental health is better than ever. I attend therapy regularly, journal each morning, and share my feelings with those close to me. Together, we can shift the narrative and cultivate a culture that values emotional well-being.